Nightmares
by Jennyvermissa
Summary: How do you even summarise this kind of appalling schmoop? Ravi reveals his fears when he sleep talks, and Liv takes it the wrong way. And then there's just some dumb pining or denial or something idk. for "things you said in your sleep" and "things you said when you thought I was asleep"


Ravi talks in his sleep. It's something Liv probably could have guessed about him even if she didn't hear him rambling blurrily every time he dozed off in his office. He was that sort of person, talkative and expressive, that even sleep couldn't keep him quiet.

Liv smiled when she heard the murmuring start from behind the office door. Through the slits of the almost closed blinds she could see Ravi, his face pressed against a pile of reports on his desk. A blue ink stain spread gradually outwards from a leaking pen in his lab coat breast pocket.

Stepping carefully, Liv made her way across the morgue and eased open the door. She took the mug of cold tea from beside Ravi's hand and moved it over to the table where Ravi's personal kettle always sat. Smiling, she tugged the leaking pen from his pocket and dropped it into the bin beside the desk. Hunched over his desk like this, Ravi didn't look as ridiculously tall as usual. He huffed out a breath accompanied by several mumbled chemical formulae.

Liv sighed and brushed a hand gently over his hair. She didn't have the heart to wake him, not when she knew why he was so exhausted all the time. He had tried to hide it, but it was impossible to miss the signs, the ever-stronger dark circles under his eyes and the moments when he would zone out, his mind no longer on the conversation. He stayed late at the morgue almost every night now. A while back he'd stopped making excuses about finishing up morgue work and admitted that he was working on the cure till the early hours of the morning. Liv had tried to convince him to rest, had told him not to sacrifice his own health in fixing hers, but he'd just shaken his head and muttered something about Major and responsibility and "my pleasure." She hadn't known how to argue with such generosity, so she resigned herself to helping as much as she could and bringing him endless cups of tea.

Ravi shifted slightly on his bed of paper, and Liv hurried to leave the office, worried her presence was disturbing his rest. As her hand touched the door handle, she heard Ravi's voice from behind her, more distinct than his usual sleepy murmurings.

"It's not safe."

Startled, she turned. Ravi still lay in the same position, but his face was creased with distress. "Please, Liv."

At the sound of her own name, Liv stepped back. This wasn't something she should be hearing. This was private, it was his subconscious given words. She should leave, or wake him up. But a part of her couldn't resist the idea of knowing how Ravi really felt about her. If he was really as forgiving of the impact she'd made on his life as he made out.

The next words were mumbles, something about a dog and the CDC and Major. Then the clearer tone of earlier returned. "Liv, it'll be ok. It's alright, Liv. Be calm. Breathe. You can control it. You're alright."

Suddenly Liv was back in horrible drain by the docks, the pipe she'd used to smash in her old rival's skull still clutched in her blood-drenched hand, blood on her teeth. Ravi's brown eyes stared at her in terror. But rather than running, rather than searching for a weapon or cowering away, he stepped towards her. He held out his hands to her and told her she was alright. And she was.

She snapped back to the moment as Ravi's voice began to rise in volume. "Liv hold on! You do this! I can't lose- LIV!"

Liv jumped back as Ravi sat suddenly upright, woken by his own shout. He glanced around the office, eyes wide and confused. They settled on Liv where she stood, a few feet back from the desk, seemingly cowering into her lab coat. "Liv?" he said, reaching out a hand towards her.

Liv stepped hurriedly over to him, and he grabbed her arm, as if assuring himself that she was real. Liv looked away, and Ravi frowned.

"Sorry, I must have fallen asleep. Just a nightmare. Sorry if I scared you."

Liv shuffled back, pulling her arm from his hand. "Yeah, I heard. You were talking about me."

His eyebrows drew together as he tried to recall the dream. "I remember. It was about you. About the cure…"

Liv couldn't hold back her hurt. "You were afraid of me! Afraid I was going to hurt you! That's what your nightmares are about, me losing control and killing you."

Ravi leaned back in his chair, as if Liv's angry blue eyes were more frightening than her red ones. "Liv, no-"

"I heard what you were saying. You were begging me not to lose control, and then you screamed. You're afraid of me. You think I'm going to hurt you."

"That's not what I was dreaming."

Liv pushed away the calming effects of Ravi's voice, the pain in her chest fueling her anger. "If you're so afraid, why don't you leave? Nothing's keeping you here. I'm not your responsibility."

"No, you're my friend." He stood up, and suddenly he was towering above her again. "Liv, I don't have nightmares that you'll kill me. I have nightmares that my cure will fail, that it will kill you or turn you completely or- or come too late to save you." His voice breaks a little. "I have nightmares that I'll lose you."

Liv was struck silent. He trusted her when she didn't trust herself. He believed in her. Looking up at his concerned face, she knew that the trust was well placed. She would die before let him get hurt.

"Liv, are you okay?" Ravi said, leaning forwards across the desk.

She shook her head. "Fine. I'm fine. I'm sorry I shouted at you. I just… I worry. I scare myself sometimes, so I'd understand if you…"

"You're my best friend, Liv. If I can't trust you, who can I trust?" He smiled, and Liv saw that he was still tired.

"You should go home. You're exhausted, you deserve a proper rest."

Ravi shook his head, glancing back at the rats in their glass tank. "There are a few more tests I'd like to run tonight. I just got some samples back from a specialist lab in Washington, I think I can really make some progress…" His voice trailed off into a yawn.

"At least take a nap. The couch is probably more comfy than your desk."

Ravi chuckled, rubbing his eyes. "I suppose a power nap wouldn't be a bad thing. Alrighty then." He grabbed his coat from where it hung over the chair-back and took off his lab coat, now with a blue ink spot contrasting with faded bloodstains. Liv watched as he sat on the couch, kicked off his shoes, and lay down on his side with the coat balled up under his head. "Sleep tight Ravi." She said, and then paused. "And just for the record, you're my best friend too."

Ravi smiled and closed his eyes. Liv switched off the lights and went back to the main room; tidying away cloths and sponges left on the slabs after the evening clean up. She checked all the corpses in the cold storage, ticking them off on a clipboard as she went. Finally, when the morgue was faultlessly clean, she dropped her lab coat in the biohazard bag and pulled on her winter coat. She turned to go up the stairs, and then hesitated.

Tiptoeing on the cold tiled floor, she walked back towards Ravi's office. Through the half closed door she saw his peaceful sleeping face, and she felt suddenly how essential this man was to her. He was the only one she could tell everything, the only one who had believed in her through zombieism and a rollercoaster of progressively more destructive brains, the only one who saw all of her and still considered her a human being, and a good one at that.

In the silence of the darkened morgue, she whispered, "I don't want to lose you either. I'll never let that happen."

With a soft click, the door closed, and Liv made her way out into the night.

A few seconds later, once the clicks of her heels on the stairs had faded away into the shadows, Ravi sat up and rested his face in his hands. In the darkness, his mouth silently formed words, perhaps "Liv," and something that could have been "I love you" or maybe "I'm sorry."

Then he flicked on the lights and sat down at his desk with the new lab results. He had long night ahead of him.


End file.
